This post is thanks to a wonderful service called writetomyblog.com…I really wanted to write my blog today and there’s no way I can blog from office…

I drive 50 kilometres everyday to office…That makes it 100 kms. everyday..For the ones who read in miles, thats around 120 miles of driving everyday…The best part is that more than half of the distance I travel is outside city bounds on the expressway…I have heard people who would sulk and say how far office…but look at the brighter side, I would be one of those rare people in India who dont sit and sulk in terrible traffic, instead I am doing a 100kms on lovely stretch of expressway…This is precisely the point I want to drive home today (pun intended)…The fact that there is always an interesting way of looking at everything….Only that we always forget to look at that side and instead spend our time complaining about what life hasn’t offered us…I have always beleived that life is whatever we have today, this hour, this minute, now…and we must enjoy it to the fullest in the present…I am not against those who plan..Maybe it is wrong that I do not plan…but, thats how I am…It is just a parallel school of thought…I look at the wide blue skies, the lovely open roads, the dense forests on the way and dream away as I listen to Robert miles…Music is such a lovely companion on open free roads where you do not have to worry about who is honking behind you…Life is not about money…Life is not about status..Life is not about anything which learn…Life is about happiness and being content…I really sound like some ascetic I guess…

It is not in our right to change what life we own. But we are powerful enough to love what we do everyday…to be free and happy…After all happiness does not reside in any other person, place or thing..It is within us and we only need to recognise that…

Its late night when I sit down to blog today…I guess its time I wrote something about transactional analysis. I learnt transactional analysis when I was completing my education…I had further insights into TA during my stint at various organizations through their induction and training sessions..

Transactional analysis treats every interaction between two or more persons as a transaction. An exchange of words, feelings, reactions which they exhibit constitute of the transaction’s elements. Every interaction between them is analysed on the basis of concepts of transactional analysis.

Let us take a look at these concepts:

1) Adult (neopsychic)

The adult ego can be simply put as our assertive true self which if were to indulge in would result in calculated, well-thought out, analysed and perfect transactions. That is, this refers to interactions which would be in a way in which a mature person would behave in. No tantrums, no bossy nature, just clear facts and statements

2)Parent (exteropsychic)

The Parent ego is the state which our personality takes when we are to take care of someone, when we love someone (in some cases, this would also move into the other states, still). Simply put, the way a parent would behave with a child.

3)Child(archaeopsychic)

The child ego must now be self explanatory. It is characterized by tantrums, demands, naughty behaviour, scheming, creativeness etc.

Let us understand the concept with a simple example in here.

If I ask you:

Kindly get me a cup of coffee (neutral expression, maybe a small smile –> adult ego)

Come on dear, please get me a cup of coffee (caring attitude, smiling –> parent ego)

I want a coffee now, get me one (indignant –> child ego)

The above example is merely indicative and I merely use to further clarify the concepts. Since, the same sentences would be take on another ego all together, if they were stated with a different mood. So thats about the basics of TA.

Now how do u go about using TA. First by understanding that when there is no match in transaction, conflict arises. Person A takes child ego –> Person B takes parent ego or vice versa; Person A takes adult ego –> person B also takes adult ego. These are the only combinations which would avoid confrontations, conflicts and mismatch. If I were to ask you

• I want a coffee now, get me one (indignant –> child ego) (ok dear I will get one –> parent ego)

• Kindly get me a cup of coffee (neutral expression, maybe a small smile –> adult ego) * (sure, I will get you one –> adult ego)

The above statements merely mean that in real life, we need to counter these transactions with corresponding transactions.

• I want a coffee now, get me one (indignant –> child ego) (kindly get one yourself –> adult ego) Conflict ensues
• Kindly get me a cup of coffee (neutral expression, maybe a small smile –> adult ego) (yay…I will get you one…—> child ego) mismatch

Even within these ego states there are subdivisions. For eg. the adult ego would consist of nurturing and the criticizing. But more on that another day…

When I going through other blogs at random, I realised that people often put up a slice of their personal life on their blogs. I came across, family albums, messages to near and dear ones…love letters and so on…These were all available on the internet for the whole world to see and hear. I realized that it is the human mind’s need to shout out loud to the wide open world that would have initialized such an urge.
My blog would of course tell you a great many things about the kind of person I am, maybe even more than my facebook or orkut profile would tell you…I would not have discussed these with even my closest of friends…which could be true with many others…You might go out for a movie with a friend, share a lot of secrets, discuss things…still you would put lots of stuff online which you would’ve in fact not discussed with anyone….I didn’t even think about this post 3 minutes ago. But now that I have thought of it, I have decided to work on this.
Which brings us to the core idea behind this post. I haven’t worked so much on this topic so it’ll be sometime before this blog gets completed. For now, all I have is this
The wikipedia article
Its not very helpful, since wikipedia still has only a stub regarding the topic. I did my research on the web and came across this great blog on the subject. I also learnt that the phenomenon I was trying to express in the earlier paragraph of this post is known as the disinhibition effect.
Go here for more: Psycyber’s blog
While on the topic of cyber psychology; I did come across this neat little article titled blogging may have psychological benefits. The article is definitely worth a read (all the more so, if you are blogger yourself)

1. The average human brain weighs 1.4 kg
2. A scientific study showed that the hippocampus, a region of the brain vital to forming memories, was bigger in black cab drivers - presumably due to their requirement to learn ‘The Knowledge’
3. Einstein’s brain was stolen after his death
4. Sex stimulates the same part of the brain as chocolate
5. Videogame playing may be as powerful an analgesic as strong painkillers
6. A specific part of the brain, the temporal lobes, may play a role in religious experiences

In the triangular theory of love, love is characterized by three elements: intimacy, passion and commitment. Each of these elements can be present in a relationship, producing the following combinations:

Liking or friendship— intimacy
Infatuation or limerence— passion
Empty love—- commitment
Romantic love— intimacy, passion
Companionate love— intimacy, commitment
Fatuous love— passion, commitment
Consummate love— intimacy, passion, commitment

Liking includes only one of the love components - intimacy. In this case, liking is not used in a trivial sense. Sternberg says that this intimate liking characterizes true friendships, in which a person feels a bondedness, a warmth, and a closeness with another but not intense passion or long-term commitment.

Infatuated love consists solely of passion and is often what is felt as “love at first sight.” But without the intimacy and the commitment components of love, infatuated love may disappear suddenly.

Empty love consists of the commitment component without intimacy or passion. Sometimes, a stronger love deteriorates into empty love, in which the commitment remains, but the intimacy and passion have died. In cultures in which arranged marriages are common, relationships often begin as empty love.

Romantic love is a combination of intimacy and passion. Romantic lovers are bonded emotionally (as in liking) and physically through passionate arousal.

Companionate love consists of intimacy and commitment. This type of love is often found in marriages in which the passion has gone out of the relationship, but a deep affection and commitment remain.

Fatuous love has the passion and the commitment components but not the intimacy component. This type of love can be exemplified by a whirlwind courtship and marriage in which a commitment is motivated largely by passion, without the stabilizing influence of intimacy.

Consummate love is the only type of love that includes all three components–intimacy, passion and commitment. Consummate love is the most complete form of love, and it represents the ideal love relationship for which many people strive but which apparently few achieve. Sternberg cautions that maintaining a consummate love may be even harder than achieving it. He stresses the importance of translating the components of love into action. “Without expression,” he warns, “even the greatest of loves can die”

More abt sex & love…